U.S. Civil War: Bane, Batman Use Biological Warfare For First Time

U.S. Civil War: Bane, Batman Use Biological Warfare For First Time

The recent fighting in the United States of America is now seeing for the first time biological warfare. Across the country we have seen a multitude of outbreaks consisting of salmonella and meningitis. We believe Batman has control of a peanut farm in New Mexico and purposely contaminated the farm with salmonella. The peanut products have been shipping to Bane controlled areas for weeks. A large militia fighting for Batman has been nearly eradicated by meningitis. Batman spokesmen point to Bane infiltrating the militia and spreading the disease.

In an act of peace and solidarity in this time of war a famous daredevil attempted to skydive from over 25 miles above the earths surface. The mission looked to be a success as million watched on their TV’s and computers until high-powered winds took this diver off course into the Florida battlefield. Bane forces confused him with a Batman paratrooper unit and blasted him out of the sky. Onlookers became outraged by the unfortunate end to the peaceful demonstration and began rioting across the country. A recovery mission is underway to find his body.

Over the past two weeks we have seen a huge spike in veteran employment. Veterans of the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan were creating huge unemployment numbers until the fighting broke out across the country. Well experienced with war and combat, veterans are finding it very easy to secure high paying military positions on either side of the civil war. America soldiers who are still stationed over seas are trying to escape back to the U.S. to join the war, make a higher salary, and be closer to the their families.

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